


float on (alright)

by jeongins (nascar)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Crushes, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Slice of Life AU, Slow Burn, an actual disaster, jilix are bros, parents!woochan, troublemakers, uhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-11 17:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13529088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nascar/pseuds/jeongins
Summary: it only takes them a year to get their shit together.aka 2 stressed parents, 2 absolute disasters, 1 pretty boy, 1 baseball star, 1 pining wreck, 1 soundcloud rapper and a baby. tragedy ensues.





	1. killer toast robot vs the boys

**Author's Note:**

> hi eli thank u for hyping me up. enjoy.

Don’t get Jisung wrong he loved Felix, really did. They were best bros, even had a secret handshake. Ride or die. But right now he was regretting nothing more than ever having agreed to come over and help his new neighbor Felix build that stupid toy plane seven years ago.

 

He really should have known it was a mistake from the moment Felix uttered the words “killer toaster robot” but could you even blame him? Ironically, the killer part isn’t even where it went wrong- not that it actually did any killing. The robot’s assembly had gone quite smoothly actually, or at least according to the makeshift builder’s manual constructed from hours of googling they had forgone sleep in favor of. The two boys may have been easily distractible at their best and an absolute disaster at their worst but they worked surprisingly diligently on the robot, careful not to make too much noise in the deep hours of the kitchen. 

 

When it was finally finished it wasn’t even a technical issue. Just an honest mistake. How was Felix supposed to know that leaving the knife in the toaster would have made it explode. Now as they scrambled frantically around the kitchen in panic induced attempts to put out the fire, it was becoming increasingly clearer that the whole idea had been a mistake. 

 

“Fan it!?” Felix yelled unsure, voice cracking.

 

“Dude NO!” 

 

“Smother it!” Felix cried, tossing a drape he ripped haphazardly from the window that he  _ knew _ his dad would kill him for later. Seeing no issue with trying- Jisung made his second mistake of the day- the first one of course, being trusting Felix. The flimsy fabric immediately caught alight. 

 

“Fuck.” 

 

There was no way all this noise was going unheard throughout the house at this hour in the morning. 

 

“Oh my god.” Hyunjin, Felix’s older brother stood slack faced at the door. Taking in the chaos before him 

 

“Don’t just stand there!” Felix is shrieking, head still whipping wildly around on his shoulders looking for everything and anything that could help. The flames were spreading thanks to Jisung’s offering. 

 

Of course Hyunjin being Hyunjin however- only succeeded and making thing’s tragically worse. What would make an electrical fire worse than it already was? Water! And boy did Hyunjin throw a lot of it. A wild crackle snapped throughout the kitchen, following the water in a sporadic electric blue. 

 

“What the  _ shit  _ Hyunjin!” Felix screams, dodging the charged spray. 

“Ohhh my god,” Jisung groans weakly. 

 

And then Felix’s oldest brother Minho is standing in the doorway, hair looking about just a mess as how Jisung felt. He blinks once before committing his disbelieving stare to the fire. 

After enlisting Hyunjin’s decidedly not so helpful help, they didn’t yell for Minho to intervene which looked fine by him. 

 

Then the youngest Jeongin is peeking from behind Minho’s limp arm. “What the hell Felix.”

 

The flames by now have completely engulfed the sacrificial once great killer toast robot. It now stood a 3 foot tall raging pire of anger, wrath and admittedly- no toast. It’s clawed hands outstretched in a condemning gesture that would be wickedly cool if it wasn’t following a hell bent agenda to burn down their kitchen.

 

And then the fire alarm is going off and Jisung is thinking it’s a little late for that but hey it’s not like the fire was making itself unknown. 

 

“What on god's green earth is going on in here- holy shit.” Minho is being pushed unceremoniously into the door frame and Woojin, the shorter of their parental duo is in the kitchen, Jeongin clinging ferociously to his arm. Their father looks just as lost as they were. 

Jisung at this point has just given up and is pressing himself against the cabinet, staring helplessly into the taunting flames. 

 

There are so many places he could list that he would rather be than here and maybe if he lists them fast enough in his head he could get a quarter way through before the killer toast robot succumbs to the flame gods and toasts  _ him _ . Wow he would love to be home right now. Did he tell his mother he loved her yesterday? Damn, he had a lot of regrets. He was totally coming back as a ghost just to haunt Felix’s ghost for getting him killed in this stupid plan. 

 

And then there’s a shout coming from the hall that’s almost louder than the deafening and persistent beep of the late arriving fire alarm. Then the boy’s other father is running in holding a fire extinguisher because of course- they had a fire extinguisher and nobody had thought to grab it. Chan is battling the toast demon, fantastic cool smoke vs wrathful blaze and Chan is winning. And then the toast demon is being vanquished, snapping flames turning to hazy air and smoking metal. The metal lump on the counter was an empty husk of the temple that once had been possessed by a vengeful toast demon only moments ago.

 

There’s a breath of silence before a new voice is coming from the crowded doorway.

 

“Hello? Sorry I knocked but- oh.” Seungmin’s mouth hangs open in a small “o”. 

 

“Babe! They almost killed me!” Hyunjin is throwing himself over his boyfriend who still looks confused as he attempts to shoulder the other boy’s weight. 

 

“Killed you?” Felix yells disbelievingly. “You almost electrocuted us!”

 

“Well if you hadn’t caught it on fire in the first place-”

 

“I didn’t do it alone! Jisung didn’t exactly speak up when I left the knife in the toaster!”

 

“You did WHAT,” Woojin shrieks, looking close to fainting. 

 

“Hey don’t drag me into this, it was your idea!” Jisung can’t believe this. First his best friend almost kills him and now he’s throwing the blame on him? Un fucking believable. 

 

“Definitely did not get enough sleep for this,” Minho concludes and promptly turns on his heel to embark on the trip back up the stairs to his bed. 

 

Chan is shaking his head at his children like he’s trying to wake up from a bad dream where he raised actual idiots. Which he did. “Okay okay!,” He raised a hand in the air, commanding the room. “You two-” he points at Jisung and Felix, “I want an explanation, later. But right now, I want this mess cleaned up.” He sighed deeply. “I’ll call the renovators tomorrow.” 

 

He turned around to face the others, shoulders sagging. “Seungmin i’m sorry you had to see this.”

 

“Oh it’s.. Fine really-”

 

“I’ll take him up to my room,” Hyunjin states, tugging Seungmin’s sleeve. “I’m sorry you had to see this babe c’mon.” He throws one last glare at Felix before pulling the younger boy out of the door with him. 

 

“I’m hungry,” Jeongin speaks up. 

 

Woojin looks down at the boy who is still hugging his arm. “Why don’t we out for breakfast jagi?” He asks, casting a glance at the wrecked kitchen. Jeongin nods enthusiastically and Woojin tells him to go get dressed. 

 

Felix makes eye contact with Jisung who stares deadly back. There went his sunday. 

 

“Brooms are in the closet boys,” Chan smiles wearily before he too disappears through the door. 

 

“Fuck.”

  
  
  


Minho reawoke around twelve, deciding after the events of this morning he deserved to sleep in. After a while hunger won out and with a groan he rolled out of his sheets and padded downstairs. 

 

The first thing he noticed was the two boys sitting on the floor back to back, fast asleep. Felix’s broom held loosely in his grip as it leaned over his shoulder. Jisung’s head lolled back, resting on Felix’s other shoulder, hair tousled cutely. He smiled to himself at the pair, wishing he’d brought his phone to take a picture. 

 

He passed them quietly on his way to the cabinet to retrieve a bowl and a half empty cereal bag. He was just closing the fridge and ready to return to his room with his bowl when he heard a voice from behind him. “God that’s an ugly burn.”

He turned to see Jisung leaning against the island, eyes fixed on the dark scorch on the polished wood. Minho gave a breathy laugh, one corner of his mouth tugging up. It really was. 

 

“How did you guys even manage that?” He asked. Truly interested in how the two managed to destroy everything they touched.

 

“I honest to god have no idea. This is going to haunt me.” His face was blank as he stared into the angry mark. Minho believed it. 

 

He looked soft in this lighting, white cotton tee over tanned skin. The lighting from the window lengthening the shadows his eyelashes cast down his cheekbones. It was moments like these that Minho truly regretted ever allowing himself to develop a crush on the younger, I mean not that he could have  _ not _ had a crush on Jisung. He was perfect. But it helped when he pretended that he could turn it off. 

 

“Yea,” he said wistfully. “Haunting.” 


	2. explore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys go on a trip. hyunjin is a good boyfriend, minho regrets life decisions, jisung doesnt understand personal space, felix has a blast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapters songs:  
> double creature feature - mojave nomads  
> explore - sundara karma  
> you had me at hello - mystery jets

(4:53 pm)

 

Jsung: hi who was felix’s first crush

 

Minho stared at the notification on his screen, debating whether or not he should answer. He doubted he wanted an explanation to the question. Knowing them, it wasn’t anything good. The last time Jisung had texted him was a week ago when he had sent a crudely drawn family portrait portraying himself as their father, a speech bubble over his head sporting the phrase, “all these bitches are my sons.” Minho hadn’t replied. 

 

Minhoe: ..why don’t you ask felix?

 

Jsung: because he’s ignoring me for changbinnie

 

Minhoe: so what are you trying to achieve

 

Jsung: sabotaging his relationship and turning changbin into a raging maniac driven only by jealousy and his thirst for felix until i swoop in save him and he owes me his life so we go back to my house and he lets me beat him @ call of duty and our brohood is mended. 

 

Minhoe: tough 

 

Minhoe: … park jaeun 

 

Jsung: i love you

 

Minho turned his phone off. 

  
  
  


“Camping?” Jisung asked seriously. 

 

“Yes,” Felix sighed. “Camping.”

 

“Does your dad ever get tired of spending this ridiculous amount of time with you guys?”

 

Felix smacks his arm, “He loves us!”

 

“Haha can’t relate.” Jisung says dryly, eyes trained on the tv screen, fingers working fast over the controller. 

 

Felix winced at the comment. It was a sore subject. Two years ago, Jisung’s father had left him and his mom. No precursor, no note, just divorce papers and a monthly child support check. He had personally guarded Jisung away from it, letting him stay over in his bed and stayed with him while he cried until he couldn’t anymore and then just held him while he shook after that. At school, he deflected the questions for him and guarded him from prying looks. They were best friends, inseparable. Felix couldn’t imagine his one of his dads leaving. He knew it hurt. 

 

“Dude, come on, are you in or not?” he asked, wincing for a second time when he went down a life after walking into what he had thought had been an empty room. 

 

“I love you, bro, but I really don’t want to third wheel a tent with you and Changbin.”

 

“What? No, you’d share a tent with Minho.” He guided his character to the sewers for the fifth time during the game. 

 

“Minho?” Jisung asked, firing off a round at a not so sneaky sniper. “Is he okay with that?”

 

“Yeah he said it was chill.”

 

Jisung took a thoughtful silence. Checking his inventory. “Yeah, I guess but only because I really don’t want to spend this weekend with my mom. Because- you know.”

 

Felix knew. It was the anniversary of his dad’s leaving. His mom tended to get really emotional this time of year. 

 

“Yeah, bro.” He finally made it past the entry without losing a life, letting out a hiss of relief. “Do you wanna go next door to pack after this level? I’ll come with you and raid your kitchen if you want.” 

 

“Yeah, but i’m totally kicking your ass.” 

  
  


If there was anything Minho hated more than living with Felix, it was driving with Felix. He had agreed to drive Felix, Changbin, and Jisung while his parents took sweet angels Seungmin and Jeongin plus bearable Hyunjin. He honestly didn’t know why he hated himself so much, nobody who had any sense of self preservation would have accepted the task. 

 

Felix had somehow gotten ahold of the aux cord and was currently playing the mission impossible theme for the third time while attempting to sneak kisses onto Changbin’s cheeks. It would have been cute if he didn’t loathe Felix with every fibre of his being. Jisung had taken the passenger seat in a graceful attempt to avoid third wheeling the backseat and was currently working on another intense level of piano tiles. 

 

“We should play a questions game!” Felix declares suddenly, draping himself over the back of Minho’s seat. 

 

“No.” Minho states, “We really shouldn’t.” 

 

“Jisung, you go first. If you had to kiss one person in this car, who would it be?” He batted his eyelashes flatteringly at the boy. 

 

Jisung didn’t look up at him, engrossed in the game. “Minho,” he said. Minho admittedly had to expend a great amount of effort just then not to wreck the car. 

 

“What?” Felix cried out.

 

“No offense,” he consoled the other boy who looked devastated. “I don't want your lap dog biting me bro,” (Changbin sighed) “also, Minho has cute lips.” 

 

And then Minho died. “Enough questions.” 

 

When they finally reached the campsite, Minho’s ears were ringing. As soon as he parked he pulled the keys out of the ignition and tossed them into his seat before slamming the door and walking until the sound of Felix’s mosquito noise was only a bad memory.

Hyunjin could not possibly express the amount of relief he had felt when his dads had said that they were allowed to go off on their own for an hour. He loved his parents, he really did, but all he wanted right now was to be alone with Seungmin. 

 

He’d immediately took the other boy by his hand and tugged him off onto a trail that lead away from the site, desperate for some peace and quiet. He let Seungmin talk animatedly about his last baseball game while he was just content to hold his hand and hear his voice. 

 

Eventually they happened over a river bank and settled on a large flat rock embedded in the sand. They sat cross legged facing each other, not skipping a beat in their conversation. Seungmin went on to talk about his mom’s upcoming trip to Japan for work and how Seungmin would be staying with them for a month. The more he talked about his mom, though, the dimmer his smile seemed to get. Hyunjin doubted it was because he’d be missing her.

 

“Does she still not believe you?” Hyunjin asks gently. 

 

Seungmin sighed and trained his eyes on his lap, “She says it’s normal, that everyone gets nervous.” 

 

The river rapids gushed in the distance, and the cool breeze lifted his bangs, mist dusting them in light sprinkles.

 

“Don’t listen to her,” Hyunjin ducks his head to meet the other boy’s eyes. “It is normal, it’s okay to have anxiety. But don’t let her downplay it okay? It’s okay to need help.” 

 

Seungmin nodded solemnly, slowly meeting the other boy’s eyes, flicking his tongue over his lips nervously. 

 

“Have you been taking your pills?” 

 

Seungmin smiled shyly and brought an orange prescription bottle out of his pocket. “Yeah, I promised you, remember?”

 

Hyunjin smiled and leaned forward to place a kiss against Seungmin’s lips, “I remember.”

  
  
  


Jisung was exhausted. As soon as Minho had pulled into the parking space haphazardly and stormed off unceremoniously, Felix had grabbed him out of the front seat and dragged him down to the lake while their parents set up with the help of Jeongin who joined them later on.

 

He now rested in a yard chair, legs thrown over the arm with a hand thrown over his face. In his other hand, he traced lines in the dirt with the stick he’d used to set a marshmallow aflame. Said fireball had promptly been added to his ever growing list of fire related tragedies when felix had bumped into him and sent the flaming ball on a set course for Seungmin’s face (a narrowly avoided catastrophe.) 

 

The orange tinge from the glow of the fire set everything hazy and warm. The other boys’ talking offered a welcome background noise of muted murmurs and the occasional soft bark of laughter from Hyunjin. For the first time that month Jisung felt comfortable. He felt like he belonged here. His sad excuse of a dad wasn’t his family, this was. 

 

His air dried hair, still slightly damp, wisped around his ears and over his forehead and his clothes felt soft and airy against his skin. He peeked through his fingers up at the star laden sky and sighed contently. 

 

Later, Jisung was being gently shaken awake and was looking into a pair of soft brown eyes. Jisung hadn’t even remembered falling asleep. 

 

“Sleeping out here?” Minho asked, tongue in cheek. 

 

“Ugh,” Jisung groaned quietly. 

 

Minho laughed, “Come on kid.” 

 

Jisung didn’t have the energy to react to the ‘kid’ part. He pulled himself out of the chair- not without complaint - _ parting is such sweet sorrow _ -and followed Minho. The tent was modestly sized with an air  mattress and two fluffy comforters. One of them being Jisung’s dinosaur printed one from Christmas in seventh grade which he refused to part with. He immediately dove into the blankets settling himself in the comfortable tangle of sheets. He watched from his spot on the bed as Minho silently pulled his hoodie over his head in the dark, backlit by the fire outside. He silently thought to himself that it was weirdly attractive how his forearms looked slipping the material over his head. 

 

_ What _ ? God he was tired. 

 

Minho slipped in next to him, settling on his back, arm hooked under the pillow. 

 

Jisung took that as his cue to snuggle deeper into his blanket and close his eyes on Minho’s closed expression. There was the sound of crickets and crackling embers outside along with a low murmuring from somewhere nearby that was probably Felix. After a moment, he reopened his eyes and quickly noted that Minho really did have cute lips before immediately closing his eyes again at the thought. 

 

What was wrong with him? This was his best friend’s brother. Bros before Minhoes. He sighed, quietly pushing the thought of Minho’s admittedly cute lips out of his mind and training his mind to think sleep thoughts. 

 

After a few moments he was painfully aware that he was no closer to sleep than when he’d started his mental montage of parkour sheep. He knew why, too. Usually at home he’d wrap himself around his DragonBall Z body pillow to sleep, the soft pressure against his chest lulling him to sleep. He hadn’t thought to bring that pillow. 

 

He cracked an eye open. “Give me your arm.”

 

Minho’s eyes flew open. “What?”

 

“Give me your arm,” he pressed again, voice indifferent. 

 

“Why?” Minho eyed him strangely, but he was already slowly untangling his arm from the depths of the sheets. 

 

Jisung snatched it from him with a huff before wrapping both arms around the borrowed limb. He felt the other boy go rigid. 

 

“Oh, calm down I only need it for tonight, you can have it back in the morning. I can’t sleep.”

 

Minho was quiet before breathing out a wheezy version of what sounded like an “Okay”.

 

Jisung pressed his face into his new aquirance. Warmth seeped through the fabric into his cheek.  _ Nice _ . The other boy smelled like the laundry detergent Felix’s bed always smelled like, but accented with a different cologne than what Felix used. It was less musk and more vanilla and incense.  _ Also nice.  _

 

He let the crickets fill their empty silence. Was Minho even breathing?

 

“Isn’t this… kind of weird?” Minho asks in the darkness. 

 

Jisung mentally rolls his eyes. “It’s only weird if you make it weird.”

 

He felt Minho consider his words before reluctantly accepting his fate and relaxing against his grip. _ Finally. _

  
  


Minho awoke the next morning to a mouthful of hair and another body wrapped around his own. For a few moments, he allowed himself to drift back off in the warmth of a hazy bliss. It was so comfortable and smelled nice. He could get used to this, maybe even get over Jisung.  _ Jisung.  _ His eyes snapped open, and he had to stop himself from groaning. Jisung. He was so screwed. The sleeping boy apparently hadn’t stopped at just claiming Minho’s arm but must have decided to borrow his torso and one of his legs. 

 

Minho wanted to complain, he really did, but for one, he wasn’t raised to lie, and second, he couldn’t tell himself he wasn’t enjoying this. When he peeked an eye open, he saw that Jisung was still sleeping peacefully on his chest, lips parted slightly, releasing gentle puffs of breath. In his sleep he looked so serene. Gazing down at his untroubled expression, it was hard not to admit that he’d give anything for this boy. It was almost scary. 

 

Guiltily, he chided himself and began coming up with the beginnings to a plan to detangle himself from Jisung’s octopus-like embrace. He didn’t get far, though, when a voice broke through his thoughts. 

 

“Are you guys cuddling?” 

 

Minho groaned in surrender. Jeongin’s face looked like a mix between disgust and fascination. 

 

“Yes. Get out,” Jisung mumbled into Minho’s chest.

 

Minho could feel his face light on fire, instinctively pushing Jisung away. Jisung however, wasn’t having any of it. 

 

“Come back!” Jisung whined, tugging at Minho’s shirt. “You smelled nice.” 

 

“Ew,” Jeongin wrinkles his nose and leaves as quickly as he came, as he walks off Minho can hear him mumbling himself about being surrounded by gays. 

 

Minho attempted to follow him out of the tent, but Jisung’s iron grip was still entangled in the fabric of Minho’s shirt. 

 

“Oi, let go of me!,” Minho pulled forward, attempting to shuck off the other boy but only succeeded in drawing Felix’s attention from across the fire pit. Maybe he could help.

 

“Felix, come get your friend! He’s trying to strangle me!”

 

“Rude!” Jisung cried from behind him. 

 

“Jisungie!” Felix is running at them, full speed. _ Oh no _ . Minho finally gave into Jisung’s grip, flopping backwards into his chest to avoid being completely bulldozed by his brother. Felix dived into the tent, knocking the air out of both of them.

 

“Felix!” Jisung yelled, smile breaking over his face. “I missed you bro.”

 

Felix was smiling like an idiot. “Missed you too babe.”

 

“You guys saw each other last night. You’re both disgusting,” Minho moaned from under Felix’s weight. 

 

Minho attempted to peel himself out from underneath Felix but Jisung’s arms were still wrapped around his middle. 

 

“Probably should have told you he’s a clingy sleeper,” Felix laughed. “I can never get him off me.”

 

“You like it,” Jisung pouts. 

 

Minho takes this as his chance to escape, digging his fingers into Jisung’s sides and heaving himself upward. Jisung disperses into a fit of (cute) giggles and relinquishes his hold on Minho.  _ Free at last _ . 

 

Minho avoided the newly founded cuddle fiend for the rest of the morning, sticking to the river bank with Jeongin while they swam before packing. Felix, Changbin and Jisung had elected to brave the rapids instead. 

 

When it was finally time to leave, Changbin took the front seat while Felix and Jisung fell asleep in the back. Minho felt the tiniest bit disappointed but immediately crushed the feeling in his chest with the reminder that it wasn’t going to happen. It was just a stupid crush that he’d let continue for too long. Jisung was cute but it wasn’t going to happen. Oddly, the thought soothed him. It was just a silly crush, a silly one sided crush. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! kudos & comments are sweet :)  
> u can come yell at me on tumblr @minsungz


	3. safe with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> literally just! shit goes down! we all love seungmin though. for best results listen to safe with me by sam smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so some ppl were confused about the family thing so  
> woochan - parents of:  
> minho  
> hyunjin  
> felix  
> jeongin  
> and then seungmin is hyunjin's cute baseball bf  
> changbin is felix's "edgy" soundcloud rapper bf  
> jisung is felix's best friend and lives next door!

  
  
  
  
  


Felix slept like the dead. Jisung hated it. Felix would sleep until one every day if nobody woke him up. As a result, Jisung, not exactly an early riser himself, always had two choices. Jisung could either lay there and have a staring contest with the ceiling, or get up and find someone else to bother. Usually, he chose the latter. 

 

He slipped out from under Felix’s sheets, careful not to wake the other boy who was quietly snoring into his pillow.

 

He thought about who would be up right now. Definitely not Seungmin or Hyunjin, they’d try and get as much alone time together as possible before being forced out into the rest of the house to socialize. Woojin taught early vocal coaching classes on Mondays during the summer, and Chan liked to sleep in on his days away from the studio. That left Jeongin or Minho. Jisung was going to go with Jeongin on this one.

 

It wasn’t like there was anything wrong about Minho. There was nothing wrong at all. It wasn’t like Minho had secretly brainwashed Jisung into suddenly thinking he smelled nice or put the thoughts of how his warm skin felt under cotton in his head.  At least, as far as Jisung knew. 

 

It wasn’t, like, news or anything that Minho was attractive. Jisung was practically raised with him. He’d always been good-looking. Painfully so at times, but thinking someone was hot wasn’t the same as having a crush on them, was it? Having a crush on someone meant you wanted to kiss them, or whatever.  _ Well _ , Jisung thought,  _ that wouldn’t actually be bad either.  _

 

_ Fuck.  _

 

He closed Felix’s door behind him with a soft thump before padding off down the stairs in pursuit of a certain braced boy. With each step, he desperately tried to rid his mind of any thought about kissing Minho. That was his best friend’s brother. How cliche could you get? The thought should’ve repulsed him, it really should’ve, but if it did, he wouldn’t have been mentally scrubbing every thought of  Minho vigorously from his mind. 

 

All efforts flew straight out the window when he rounded the corner into the kitchen. 

 

He’s standing there. Standing right there. Minho.

 

...And he looked good.

 

_ No! _

 

Jisung should’ve looked away, but it was too late. He’d already seen. Minho was in grey sweats and a white t-shirt, hair damp. He must’ve just got back from dance, because he looked flushed and his shirt clung to him in a way that sent Jisung’s cursed teenage mind reeling. The sunlight from the porch window illuminated his figure in a hazy glow, and Jisung could think was, _ wow. _

 

His neck looked kissable. 

 

_ What? _

 

He’s staring. It’s been too long. Minho’s eyes were on him questioningly, and-  _ shit he said something. _ Jisung was sure he was going to faint then. Part of him hoped he would so that Minho would catch him and kiss him awake, and they’d ride off into the sunset and the rest of the family (and seungmin) could be the seven dwarves that are invited to their wedding. The other half of him hoped he would faint, and hit his head on the counter killing him instantly, while Minho judges him from the land of the living before abandoning his stiffening body on the cold tile floor. 

 

It’s just then that Jisung realized how truly nauseous he felt.  _ Was this what love feels like _ ? If so, he needed to have a serious talk with Felix, there was no way this feeling could be good for him. 

 

He realized Minho had been calling his name. It sounded distant. Jisung noticed how tired he was. The world around him was a blur, and suddenly keeping his eyes open became a struggle. 

 

Maybe he’d just take a nap right here. Yeah, that sounded nice. His eyes began to close then, and he couldn’t seem to find a reason to not fall asleep right there. Then, the world folded in over him, darkness swooping down over him like an inky blanket. The last thing he saw was a shadowy figure drifting towards him.

  
  


Did Minho ask for this? No. Did he mind? A little bit, yes. Was he worried? Absolutely. There he had been, minding his own business, just grabbing a glass of juice. That’s all he had wanted, really, just juice, but then, the one and only Han Jisung had walked through the doorway, looking like an actual dream, all soft edges and doe eyes. Then froze for a whole thirty seconds before proceeding to pass the fuck out right there. 

 

After barely catching Jisung before he’d hit the floor, Minho had continued on to do the only thing he could think to do. 

 

He started yelling for his dad. Looking back on it, he definitely could have handled the situation a lot calmer. You know, without the frantic yelling as if Jisung had died, although, in his defense, he could have. His dad had run into the kitchen, silver hair tossed over his forehead in a way that would have made his other father bite his tongue in the urge to brush it. He was followed by a peaky eyed Jeongin. 

 

Jisung was heavy in his arms, body completely limp, head tossed back. Chan had immediately rushed forward and fell on his knees in front of them and placed a hand over Jisung’s forehead. 

 

“What happened?” he asked. “He’s freezing.”  

  
  


Minho shook his head. “I don’t know. He just... fainted.” Worry had begun to eat him alive from the inside.

 

For some reason, whatever god who had decided to curse him, had chosen to wake Felix up just then 

 

“What did you  _ do _ to him?” he yelled accusingly. Felix’s bed hair was epic on a normal day, but right now, it looked downright electric. He pushed the newly arrived Hyunjin and Seungmin out of the way to settle on the floor with Minho and Chan, pulling Jisung’s head into his lap. 

 

“Nothing!” Minho strains. 

 

“If you killed my best friend-”

 

“He’s alive, chill,.” Minho was just as worried about Jisung as they were, but he didn’t feel like taking the blame for this. 

 

“Wait,” Felix says, realization dawning on his face, “He’s anemic.” 

 

Chan looks up. “Did he not take his pills?”

 

Felix looks guilty. “I don’t know, we were busy last night.” 

 

“So busy that you didn’t bother to at least make sure he took them before bed?” Minho snaps. 

 

He doesn’t know why he’s getting so defensive, well, he does, but he doesn’t know why he’s showing it. Honestly, Felix had the nerve to blame him first and then reveal that he was basically the reason Jisung had been hurt in the first place. 

 

Felix looks at a loss for words, looking down at Jisung’s blank face instead. 

 

“Hey, it’ll be fine,” Chan breaks through the tension. ”Let’s just get him to the couch and we can have him take his pills when he wakes up.”

 

Felix nods, still looking guilty. 

 

“I got him,” Minho spoke up, slipping his arms more firmly around Jisung. He pulled his own knee up and stood slowly, holding the younger boy like a child. Except he didn’t feel like a child. God, this boy was heavy. What did he eat? Not enough iron obviously.

 

He pushed through the others, not caring to look at anyone but Jisung. He hated how obvious he was being, but he couldn’t help it. He’d always been protective of the boy, giving him his own hiding spots during hide and seek,  mouthing Felix’s cards from behind during poker, or always making sure he got down from trees safely when he climbed them in the backyard. It was just instinctive. Sometimes at night when it was just him in the dark he let himself quietly admit it to himself. He was in love. He couldn’t remember a time that he hadn’t been in love with Jisung. Even as kids when seeing ten-year-old Jisung for the first time, being dragged across the yard by Felix, his first thought had been pretty. 

 

He was pretty, too. Fluffy bangs, round eyes, and soft cheeks, and that jawline. He’d seen less graceful things in art museums. Every time Jisung smiled Minho could feel his heart break a little more. He had to physically refrain himself against the urge to press kisses into his neck and hands sometimes. 

 

He settled Jisung gently on the couch, tucking a pillow under his head. Felix was behind him, sweeping a hand over Jisung’s hair before running up the stairs, off to find the iron tablets they’d neglected. 

 

Felix returned shortly and pressed the bottle into Minho’s palm quickly before letting out a rushed “Fuck! I’m late for practice!” when he saw Hyunjin in the doorway dressed for the studio.

 

As annoyed as Minho was with him, he found pity in that statement. Their dance instructor could be… intense. He softened a bit in understanding. 

 

“You go, I’ll stay with him and text you if anything happens.”

 

Felix grabs Minho’s face and plants a big kiss on his cheek, “Thanks, bro.”

 

He was already gone before Minho had a chance to tell him how revolting he is.

 

Minho sucked in a deep breath before tucking himself into the armchair adjacent to the couch, resting his head on the arm to peer down at Jisung’s face. 

 

Anemic. Huh.

 

It had never seemed like anything was wrong before, he was a pinging ball of perpetual energy. It did explain the never-ending cycle of bruises, though, seriously, the kid could get hit with a feather and look like he fought a whole chicken coop. Minho mentally cursed himself for not picking up on it sooner. He should’ve known that.

 

Five minutes passed like this, Minho’s gaze trailing over Jisung’s unconscious figure, lost in thought. 

 

“Fuck,” Jisung mumbles eloquently, eyes still closed. Minho piqued up at his voice. Suddenly, the script he’d written out in his head for what to say to the boy he’d been creepily watching over for the last minute, flew straight out of his mind. 

 

Instead of speaking, Minho reactively holds out a glass of water with a singular “Here.”

 

Jisung’s eyes flitted open and he immediately recoiled. “Not you.”

 

Minho huffed indignantly. “I’ll try not to be offended. Now drink this and take your fucking pills.”

 

“Someone’s grumpy,” Jisung mumbled but took the glass anyways. Minho tried not to jolt when their fingers brush. For someone who was the actual fucking sun, Jisung was really cold. 

 

“Why didn’t you take your pills?” Minho blurted, “You could’ve gotten really hurt.”

 

Jisung looks up at him from under messy bangs, ashy eye bags more prominent from this angle. “I live life on the edge.” He hitches a sideways smile as he tips the glass back. 

 

“I’m serious,” Minho persisted, gaze boring into Jisung.

 

“Why do you care so much?” Jisung asks, quirking an eyebrow. 

 

_ Because you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen and I’m sure that never seeing your stupid handsome face again might actually kill me. _

 

“Because you keep Felix out of my hair,” He lies effortlessly. 

 

“Ah,” Jisung acknowledges apprehensively. 

 

“Also, I don’t have anything to wear to your funeral,” Minho adds on thoughtfully. 

 

“I think you look good in what you have on.”

 

Minho chokes. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Seungmin couldn’t breathe. He was trying, he really was. But no matter how much he tried, the heavy feeling on his chest wouldn’t budge. He felt hot tears swell up threatening to fall. The feeling of drowning persistent and unrelenting. 

 

He knew Hyunjin was just in the other room, finishing his shower. He knew he could call out to him and he’d be here, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move. Even then, he was so sick of bothering Hyunjin. So sick of bothering everyone. He was sure they were sick of him too. The sounds of his muffled crying and Hyunjin’s quiet reassurances late at night on the other side of Minho’s wall had probably become intolerable. 

 

His phone lied in front of him on Hyunjin’s bed. Screen alight and buzzing with the word “mom” flashing across the screen. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t. He pressed his trembling hands into his eyes, choking for breath, chest spasming. He couldn’t. It hurt. It hurt so bad. 

 

When he closed his eyes like that, he could see the tunnels from his nightmares, dark, enclosing and twisting. It terrified him; dizzying images and lack of oxygen locking him in place. It was moments like this he’d wished he was dead. At the thought, another wave of panic ripped through him. His dad was dead too. He died in the army. Blown to bits by the mines. He couldn’t leave his mother like his father had. She already despised him enough for this. For being weird. For not being able to fucking breathe. 

 

It hurt. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t. The tears were everywhere now, flowing freely. He was going to die of lack of oxygen, he knew it. He’d die a freak. An overreacting freak who couldn’t handle anything. He’d leave nothing but a buzzing phone and his own body for Hyunjin to find. One last burden on his already weighted shoulders. 

 

“Seungmin?” It’s Hyunjin’s voice. Oh, God. 

 

Hyunjin was there at his side. He distantly registers a dip in the bed. 

 

“Seungmin, baby, can I touch you?” His voice is low and soothing. 

 

Seungmin jerked in the best nod he could manage at the moment, and Hyunjin immediately slipped an arm around him, pulling his body closer, and pressing his face into Seungmin’s hair.

 

“It’s okay sweetheart,” he said, words muffled. “I’m here, you’re safe. It’s okay, you’re safe.” 

 

Seungmin choked off in a sob. He was trying so hard to do this for Hyunjin. 

 

“You’re safe with me.” Hyunjin was rubbing his back. “Don’t be scared, I got you. I won’t let you go.”

 

Seungmin clutched Hyunjin’s arm, hiccuping and struggling to suck in air. 

 

‘It’s just a panic attack right?” Hyunjin reassured him. “It’s okay, it’ll be over soon just try to breathe. Breathe, baby. You’re doing so good.” 

 

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Seungmin managed to cough out.Hyunjin was holding his hand , slowly massaging into it, working it open from its clenched state. 

 

“Nuh uh,” Hyunjin clucked softly, “You’re okay. You’re doing amazing.” He kneeled in front of him now, slowly edging his fingers under Seungmin’s pinned arms. “Here, open up,” he coaxed. He was pulling Seungmin’s stiff arms from his sides, rubbing them softly as he wents. Unlocking Seungmin bit by bit. 

 

Seungmin can feel his lungs slowly accepting the air he’s desperately attempting to steal from around him. 

 

Hyunjin moved his hands to Seungmin’s legs, persuading them away from where they were tucked into Seungmin’s chest. “Good job Jagi,” he murmureed with an encouraging smile, flattening his palms against Seungmin’s thighs. 

 

Seungmin was finally open , chest unconstricting. Hyunjin had pulled him from beneath the waves and into the open air. 

 

“Better?” Hyunjin asked, eyes sympathetic. 

 

This time, when Seungmin nodded, his movements weren’t as jerky. He was only breathing rapidly, lightheaded but the brick was removed from his chest. Seungmin’s hand’s fumbled for Hyunjin’s who accepts eagerly, squeezing tight. 

 

“She kept calling-”

 

“Shh,” Hyunjin cut him off, “You don’t have to run back through it, let's rest a moment, hm?”

 

Seungmin shuddered in a breath and nods. 

 

“C’mere,” Hyunjin pulled him forward to press a kiss to his forehead. He stareed at him for a second more before asking, “Can I kiss you?” 

 

Seungmin gave a quick nod, and Hyunjin smiles before pulling him into a kiss. Lazy and careful against Seungmin’s own salty lips. Seungmin slipped a hand over the nape of Hyunjin’s neck, pressing him closer. Hyunjin made a soft “hmph” noise in the back of his throat, obviously content with being a much-needed distraction. Seungmin let out a breathy sigh and tugged Hyunjin upward, pulling away for a second to turn him around and press him into the mattress before sidling back up to his lips, allowing himself to slip into the bliss that is Hyunjin’s kisses.

 

He would never get used to how good this felt, how Hyunjin could melt him on the spot. How perfect yet playful they his kisses were. They were everything good about Hyunjin pressed into one action, and Seungmin loved them. He feels a hand wrap around his waist, soft and firm. He never felt as safe as he did with Hyunjin and couldn’t be more grateful for him. 

 

Hyunjin was so unbridled and loved so deeply that sometimes Seungmin felt at a loss for breath in a good way. 

 

There was a knocking at the door. “If anyone wants food, dad ordered pizza!” Jeongin shouted from the other side.

 

Hyunjin pulled away, eyelashes barely fluttering open, “Okay?” He asks.

 

Seungmin carded his fingers through the other boy’s bangs, “Yeah,” he answers gingerly. “Thank you. For everything.”

 

“Always,” Hyunjin replied lowly before flicking his tongue out, sweeping the tip of Seungmin’s nose. 

 

Seungmin was disgusted... and endeared. 

 

“I take it back I hate you,” Seungmin announced, wiping the saliva off his face. 

 

“You L-O-V-E me.”

 

“I do not. Get off of me,” Seungmin wheezed from underneath Hyunjin’s added weight. 

 

“Not until you say you love me,” Hyunjin grinned evilly. 

 

“Hey, did you guys hear me I said-” Jeongin opened the door. 

 

“Never mind.” He groaned, immediately spinning on his heel, slamming the door behind him. They could hear a faint ‘I hate this family’ from down the hall. 

 

“Now look what you did,” Seungmin accused. “You traumatized the baby.”

 

“He’ll get over it. Now tell me you love me.”

 

“No, you ruined the moment,” Seungmin told him. He used all his body strength to push Hyunjin off of him and onto the floor. He pulled himself up from the bed and crossed the room to the door, opening it dispassionately before exiting without a look behind him.

 

Hyunjin counted a beat before the door opened back up, “But, yes, I love you or whatever." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading!!!!! u can yell at me on my tumblr @minsungz  
> also big shout out to my beta spacey! she's an amazing editor and if any of u guys needs a beta you should hit her up @spaceythebeta on tumblr! she'd love to edit for you!


	4. blue: interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunjin reflects  
> (slight suicide tw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! bet u thought i forgot about this: i did not. ive just been super stressed. this is less of a chapter and more of a lil interlude. ill have a full chapter up when i finish the one im working on though sjsjsjdhs thanks for putting up with me. also its unbetaed so sorry if theres any mistakes :) (goes well with ease by troye sivan)

_ Life was full of consequences. Hyunjin had always been well acquainted with the concept. His mother had made a mistake at a young age, and by consequence, the mistake was sent to live with Chan and Woojin. His father was sad, and by consequence, dropped like a stone, straight through life all the way down until he landed with a sickening crunch just under the Dangsan Railroad bridge. Nothing ever seemed to stay just as perfect as Hyunjin wished it would, by consequence, he’d picked up the camera and spent his life from there on attempting to immortalize his perfect world. When he was thirteen his first dog had chased a bird into the road, and by consequence was killed instantly, life cutting out to the sweet tune of the ice cream truck. By secondary consequence, Hyunjin hated ice cream. When Hyunjin was fifteen, he had received his first love letter, from a girl in his grade whose name he could never remember. By consequence, he’d also had his first kiss. When the girl had told him the next week that he was too quiet for her, Hyunjin decided he didn’t like kissing. When he was sixteen, Hyunjin had his first boyfriend, and by consequence, his first heartbreak.  _

_ When he turned seventeen, Seungmin had existed, and by consequence, Hyunjin had fallen, slipping under the calming blue. His perfect world submerged in cool cereculan and soft brown eyes.  _

_It was as if Hyunjin had spent his life desperately clinging to a fiery comet drifting through space with no direction and no origin to return to. Just him, the fire, and empty darkness. Only to crash into the ocean which had accepted him with cooling hands and soothing waves. The perpetual cycle of flames and void ended by a nervous soft smile and floppy bangs. Hyunjin was smitten. He’d never been more in love with silence than when Seungmin had come into Hyunjin’s life with his quiet blue and put out Hyunjin’s anxious red._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos & comments are appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> kfsdkfhksfdh here we go! more chapters coming i promise


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